Wednesday, July 25, 2012

3 Weeks

I think it all hit me Monday. This whole process has been such a new experience to me. I mean, we've had to walk by faith before but not through circumstances where we knew this little.  I've had to come to a place where I "do" trust God and I fear Him more than I fear my lack of control over my own, and even my family's, security.  When I'm spending time with the Lord - it all makes perfect sense, and it's as if we have no other option but to follow.  When I have not been able to spend time with God-is when I get scared, and the thoughts race.  The one prevailing thought is, "Have you lost your mind?"

On Monday I had a sick baby girl and I wasn't feeling too hot myself. I was looking through the house over things I needed to get rid of and beginning to pack and it all fell on me like a ton of bricks - I had 3 weeks. 3 Weeks!!! That was it. In 3 weeks everything I knew, everything I had grown accustomed to, all of the friendships I had made here, our home etc., security, even our independence was going to be turned upside down.

This is not me complaining, please do not take it that way. I am super excited about what's about to happen next and I know I cannot allow myself to focus on the uncertainties - they are not mine to worry with, the Lord will provide.  However, it does not matter how much I "Know that", when you've committed to walk by faith and not by sight; sometimes your eyes get to feeling a little neglected and there are moments that the fear sets in.

I have often joked about being a Bible Chaser. Being a stay at home mommy of 2 little ones leaves me chasing after moments where I can sit and dive into God's word. Even if I get up at the magical hour of 5:30am somehow my children sense that mommy is up and they're ready for breakfast. Seriously - Every Time! (:  As soon as I sit it's an open invitation for, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy", and even if they don't run in asking questions or needing this and that I still have the mommy twitch where I can't focus because I am just waiting to be interrupted, which is wonderful and I LOVE it, however, it does leave me chasing after free moments.

Through all of this I've realized it takes me 2 days. 2 Days, thats it!!!  2 days of not being able to spend adequate time with God in His word before my faith is running on fumes and I am surrounded by a cloud of fear. I can't tell you what all the fear is, it isn't one particular thing, it's a buffet of everything.  Even though I don't really appreciate it at the time, Trey has begun calling me out on it recognizing when I haven't spent time with God. 

I can come up with excuses, truthfully, it is intensely hard somedays to find adequate time with the Lord, but there is no substitute. We have been called to run the race however we cannot run the race if we are directionless when it comes to finding the track. We have each individually been invited to have a deep, love relationship with the God of our creation-there is NO substitute for that.  Once you've experienced that nothing else that you try to pour your life into, trying to fill that need, can substitute for it. And anything that has the power to interfere with it is seen as a threat, not a temptation.  It's not hard core, it's as essential as breathing, and if a man goes 2 days without breathing - He's a dead man.

Why do you think it is so hard to find time, or to make time to be with the Lord? Because Satan knows as long as he can keep you in captivity, he can keep you from realizing that "You're not breathing". You will believe his lies, and you will be incapable of experiencing God, let alone, be able to be used by God. 

If he can keep you from experiencing the joy of your salvation, his job at discouraging you is rendered DONE.

My faith has no authority if my relationship with Christ is "Piggy Backing" off someone else's.  You can be encouraged through your pastor, friend, spouse etc. but hearing it from them is no substitute for your relationship with Christ. 
If, as your next door neighbor, I am "Piggy Backing" off your Wi-Fi it would be a lie for me to tell someone I have my own Wi-Fi.  It's not yours its someone else's.  God calls His children to have a deep love relationship with Him that is real and personal.   You cannot walk by faith until you start walking, not "Piggy Back Riding."  (:

If you're dealing with fear, I'm sharing the following message because it ROCKS!


HIS clay~
Melissa Bradley


  1. Thanks, Melissa. I am sharing your link on my fraidy cat facebook page because I am sure it will resonate with many! Looking forward to seeing the Lord minister to you as you navigate this new phase of life!