How I knew She Could Be My Bride!

Today Melissa and I celebrate eight years being married. It has certainly been an adventure together. We have had our share of joy, sorrow, laughter, heartbreak, fun, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else on this earth. I cannot imagine what my life would be like right now if she weren’t a part of it. I knew from the very beginning of meeting her at North Greenville University at a BSU event that she was someone that I could see myself spending my life with. I believe that there are two essential things that God desires for us to discover. First is to have a personal relationship with Him and second is to be joined with our life’s mate. I wanted to share some ways that I knew that Melissa could be my bride someday even after only knowing her for a short while. These were some things that I noticed about her that caught my eye immediately that I wanted in a spouse. This is of course is besides that fact that she is absolutely gorgeous so that is an obvious one that will not be included in this blog. Here goes:

1.     She had a love and hunger for God and His word. Being a part of a Christian college it wasn’t hard to meet a girl who at least claimed to be a Christian. NGU was a rare place where most people you met were believers. Most could even play the part for a while even if they didn’t love Jesus. However, it was evident upon first meeting Melissa that something was incredibly different about her. She had a hunger and passion for Jesus that was evident in just having a conversation with her. She wasn’t just a “go to church on Sunday then go back to life as usual the rest of the week” kind of girl. She loved Jesus and we could sit and talk about His greatness for hours. It was obvious that God’s hand was on her life. She also loved God’s Word. The first time I ever opened her Bible I could tell pretty quickly that she had been reading it intensely. The entire book from cover to cover had been highlighted, parts were underlined, parts were circled, and there were notes on the side. She didn’t just read God’s Word but had been devouring it. She had a hunger for it. This was something I wanted in a spouse.

2.     I loved the way she would treat other people. I noticed very early on that Melissa had a heart for others. She would always notice those people in a crowded room that most would look over and she made it a point to love on them. She is very observant and would try to make eye contact with everyone in the room while having a conversation even if they weren’t a part of it. She didn’t want them to feel left out so she would include them. To me this was Jesus in so many practical ways that I myself rarely had ever considered. When we would go out to eat she would always ask the server how their day was going and talk to them like they were actual people and not just our slave for the evening. This was something I wanted in a spouse.

3.     She was the complete opposite of me personality wise. Anyone who knows Melissa and me at all knows that we are just a little bit different. I am extremely laid back and she is well, not at all!!! Her bubbly personality had me from the beginning and I love the fact that she is not like me in those areas. While being around her, life was never boring. I loved her complete honesty even when I didn’t want to hear it at first. I loved how she had goals and set out to accomplish them. We also balanced each other out very well and I knew that I needed her audaciousness, vision, zeal, and honesty in my life.

These are obviously not the only areas that I noticed but they were the ones that did leap out at me after first meeting her. I knew that she was someone that I could marry and was someone I could see being the mother of my children one day. Now eight years later I can see that she has been everything I expected and so much more. It turns out that she a woman of many talents and is currently a mommy, writer, speaker, gardener, great cook, and many other things. She has inspired and challenged me in so many areas especially growing in my walk with Jesus. Watching her interact with our children never ceases to amaze me, and I am humbled by everything she has done to help take care of my grandmother in the past few months. Living life is an adventure and at times will throw a curve ball at you, but being able to experience it all with her makes it all worth it. Who knows what we will experience in the next eight years but I am excited about what all is to come and all that matters is we will be together in the process.

Trey

The Unstoppable Gospel!

I have been thinking about the message that was preached recently at Relate Church by Timothy Brown.  We are going through the book of Philippians and the message caused me to start thinking about Paul having joy while in the Roman prison. Paul talked about how his time in prison served as an opportunity for the gospel to be preached. He basically was imprisoned for preaching the gospel and used this opportunity to preach to the prisoners and the guards. Its not like they could go anywhere so Paul took advantage of this. This caused me to realize that in the grand scheme of things the gospel ultimately cannot be stopped! Throughout history tyrants, governments, many many have tried to stop it but have ultimately failed. People today want to stop the gospel but will not ever succeed because it is the power of salvation to everyone who believes. At times it may can be slowed down but will never be defeated. The worst anyone can ever do to us is kill us and history shows that will only inspire believers even more to share and it will spread even more. In fact throughout history whenever followers of Jesus are being persecuted is when the church really explodes in growth. I heard a quote once that said: "the blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church." When things are okay is when we tend to become comfortable and complacent' However, when persecution abounds is when the church really thrives.

The only way the gospel can ever be stopped is if we choose to believe the myth that it can be stopped and we remain quiet due to fear! Scripture says we are more than conquerors because of Christ in us! Until Christ returns the good news of Jesus is unbeatable, so what are we doing to share this good news?

Update: Twist and Turns

One thing that I have learned since I surrendered all to Jesus on January 11, 2002, is that following Him is an adventure! Once we take that step in being sold out to Christ and declare that our life is His completely, we can never predict the way things will turn out. Last summer we made the difficult yet undeniably Christ led decision to leave a comfortable full-time salary and move back home with no promise of a job or any kind of income. We just had a calling to help with a church plant and see lives transformed by the gospel any way God desired to use us. Needless to say, God has provided for us every step of the way as we knew He would. We knew God had big plans for Relate Church and that many people were going to come to Christ through this ministry. That has happened and we are still blown away with what all God has done and is still doing. Easter Sunday we had almost 300 people in attendance and this past weekend we started a third service on Saturday nights. Every week we have people cross over from death to life and words can't express what it is like to be a part of this ride and to be able to serve with these Relate leaders and volunteers. I am surprised by the intensity of this growth but I am not surprised with what God has done at Relate. Melissa and I knew last February 2012 that this was coming, we just didn't know when or how it was going to happen.

Within the past few weeks, I have had the privilege of stepping into the role of children’s pastor as well as my role as outreach pastor. I am excited about seeing what all God does with this ministry. I have a passion to see kids and their parents transformed by the power of Jesus Christ and I am ready to just pour into these families and volunteers.

Since our big move, however, some things haven't gone the way we initially thought they would. There have been some twist and turns along the way, but the last time I checked the God of the universe didn't need to consult me when it came to expanding His kingdom. He has simply called me to follow Him, trust Him, and be obedient. As of now we are still living in Gaffney and making a one hour commute several times a week along with me working a secular job. Melissa has been substitute teaching whenever she can as well. Her opportunities to sub have been limited due to needing childcare, but God has provided along the way. Trying to balance all of this and still have family time has been more challenging than anything we have ever faced. I have actually started getting up about 5:30 every morning just so I can have my quiet time with God, exercise, or just work on stuff. Honestly unless I get up really early or stay up really late there isn’t much time throughout the day. This has caused me to have to step out of my comfort zone in ways I have never had to before because I am not a morning person and I suffer from that little thing called…… uh laziness!

To wrap this up I just want to say that this chapter in our lives has stretched us in ways we never have been before and I am so grateful for it. I would not have exactly planned the way things have gone the past eight months, but God’s ways aren’t my ways and His ways are always perfect. I have grown more in the past 8 months than I ever did in the prior 31 years leading up to that. We typically like to plan things out and they go exactly like we planned, but honestly when that happens we get comfortable and comfort usually leads to apathy. When the unpredictability happens we are forced to depend on God and that is when true growth takes place! So I am celebrating the unpredictability of following Jesus today and I pray that He would scrap my plans and replace them with His.  

Many of you reading this have supported us from the very beginning whether through prayer or giving financially and we can’t thank you enough. Please continue to pray for our family as we seek the Lord daily and desire to be used by Him. Pray that we will see God at work in every area of our lives and be obedient to what He is leading us to do whether we are serving at Relate or shopping at Wal-Mart. We just want to be used by Him and to be a part of the expansion of His kingdom.


In Christ

Trey

Ten Observations with Sharing Your Faith

Sharing our faith can be intimidating, however it is something that Jesus clearly commanded us to do. Studies show that about ninety percent of professed believers admit that they have never shared their faith with anybody. I recently wrote a blog explaining how I believe that the main reason that people don't share their faith is because of fear of rejection. I also believe that many Christians simply feel they just don’t know how to.

Here are ten observations I have learned over the years concerning sharing our faith with others. I don’t pretend to have it all figured out nor do I claim to be an “expert” in this field. I have simply picked on a few tips through trial and error. I have also had the luxury of reading a few books as well as having some really great mentors! So as we go and be obedient to what Christ has commanded here are some things we should keep in mind.

1. Sharing through conversation is best!

I believe that God can use any method, however based on my experience and also feedback from those whom I have talked to, this is the best approach. I am not a big fan of other methods such as handing out tracts or open air preaching, although I am not completely against those things. I worked as a server for over two years and we received tracts all of the time and honestly most people never even read them. Most of the time if I ever give someone a tract it is after I have already had a conversation with them. Like I said God can use anything but I think that engaging someone in a conversation is the more fruitful approach. Also this is the method we see predominantly in the New Testament. Jesus actually sat down and had a conversation with the Samaritan woman, and had meals with outcasts of society. We have allowed the media to portray us as though we are all like the Westboro Baptist crazies! So let’s counter that by actually showing love like Christ did! Let’s put down our picket signs, get off of our stumps, and actually lovingly talk to those whom Jesus has called us to engage.

2. There is power in sharing your story!

Nobody can tell your story better than you can! You may be wondering where to start with sharing your faith. A great place to start is sharing what Christ has done in your own life. People can relate to that very well! We see in Scripture where Paul shared his story several times! You may think that if you came to Christ at an early age and never did drugs or jail time that you really don’t have much of a story to share. However, if you came to Christ then that means you were once spiritually dead and now Jesus has raised you to life! That my friends is powerful and must be shared! If we truly have been transformed by the gospel we should be more than excited to share our testimony!

3. Awkwardness cannot be avoided! 

You may say that sharing our faith just gets too awkward and you are correct! Anytime we talk about Jesus things are going to get awkward and that just cannot be avoided. There is something about the name Jesus that really causes a reaction out of people whether good or bad. That is why I can hardly contain myself from laughing when some people attempt to insinuate that Jesus was just a normal man who lived one day but was nothing more. Sharing our faith WILL be awkward I promise but we need to accept that and deal with it! We are talking about where someone will spend eternity! I don’t want to stand before God while giving an account and my excuse for not sharing be that it was just too awkward! Jesus is worth more than that!

4. We don’t always have to have all the answers!

I believe that one of the fears of many is that they will be asked a question that they will not be able to answer. They feel because they don’t have a theological degree or haven’t read the Bible from cover to cover that they aren’t equipped! The truth is that often we will encounter being asked a question that we will not know the answer to. When I experience this I just tell them that I don’t know but I will look into it and get back with them. I also honestly tell them that I don’t have all the answers because I don’t! Most people actually appreciate our honesty and authenticity in this, to say that we are not God and we don’t know everything. We should try to grow and learn as much as we can but also realize that only God truly knows all and we should be up front about this as we witness!

5. We don’t have to control the conversation!

I have learned over the years that sometimes the less I talk while sharing my faith the better! Sometimes our best approach is to just shut up!!! When we talk with people about their beliefs and where they are spiritually we should allow them to talk! Sometimes we treat witnessing like it’s a rehearsed spill and we never allow the other person to talk! Let them talk and that shows them that you actually care about them and it gives you a better idea where they are and you will know how best to direct the conversation! Also if you are willing to hear them out they will be more willing to hear you out!

6. LISTEN!

Often while sharing our faith we are so focused on what we are going to say we don’t listen to what they are saying. While they are talking we need to listen to them instead of just thinking about what we are going to say next. I know I tend to do that in any conversation and have to constantly remind myself to actually listen. Trust me, they will know if we are listening. This goes back to the part about showing them that we care about them by being willing to hear them out. Listen to them no matter how bizarre their beliefs may or may not be. I talked with a guy one time who told me that he believed after we die, we just kind of float away into outer space. He went on for about three minutes explaining this in detail. As crazy as it sounded, he truly believed every word he was saying. Since I respectfully listened, he was willing to listen to me respond by sharing with him the gospel of Jesus Christ!

7. Every encounter will be different!

Every person you will ever talk to will be different and be in different circumstances. Because of this there is really no set way to share our faith. Many just want a specific mapped out plan for how to witness to people and there are many books that offer that. The problem is that people and their circumstances are different so what may work for one person but will not be applicable with another. Also if we approach someone with a pre-planned strategy for what we are going to say it will come across as a rehearsed speech and people will pick up on that, and we will lose authenticity. As I said yesterday, there is something people appreciate about just being real and even vulnerable. Every person we witness to will be different and we should just let the spirit lead us as we talk with them.

8. We should speak truth but have a humble and compassionate approach!

Christians have not done a very good job with this on both sides of the coin. As believers we are still human so we tend to gravitate toward extremes and this is no exception! Many seem to think that to love we must dumb down truth, and others think that in order to speak truth we must be a jerk about it! I am sick and tired of this false dichotomy of truth and love being at war with each other because they are not. We must find a proper biblical balance of both! It is not unloving to tell a person that they are a sinner before a holy God, as long as we let them know that Jesus paid for that sin on the cross because of his love for sinners! The whole point of telling someone about sin is not to point fingers, but to lead into the love of God that was shown on Calvary. Also as we talk to people we need to remember that it is only by the grace of God that we are not in their position. Often we forget this and it leads to a lack of compassion for those far from God. We need to pray that God would remove from us any self-righteous tendencies and replace them with love and compassion for these people that Jesus died for. Our hearts should break for the lost and hurting and should lead us toward compassion for them!

 

9.We should be prayed up beforehand!

Any method we may have or utilize is pointless if the spirit of God is not at work. We need to pray that God would prepare the hearts of those we encounter and speak through us. I heard a famous evangelist say once that he prays every time he gets on a plane for the person he will be sitting next to. So we should focus less on strategies and more on being on our face before God and ask Him to work through us.

10. Stick with the gospel!

This is straight forward! We should focus on Jesus and His dead, burial, and resurrection! Let’s stay away from politics and behavior modification! Jesus said to go and make disciples, not republicans or democrats! I am not saying that politics are not important, but many see it as synonymous with the gospel and it is not. Also we are not called to dress people up like we think they should look as Christians. We are to point them to the cross and allow Jesus to transform their hearts. We can easily get sidetracked but we should just stick with the simple gospel of Jesus Christ.

Oh Sun Stand Still

I'm going to invite you into something personal if that's okay.  Tomorrow Trey and I are going to start a 21 day fast, along with the rest of the Relate staff. We have ALOT that we are going to be bringing before the Lord during this time.  And we would like to invite you to be apart of these prayers.  First of all let me try to update you on what's been happening.

Trey is still working at Robert Allen.  I am still substitute teaching.  Jaxson is in 5k at Grassy Pond.  We're also caring for Trey's grandmother whose condition has progressed over the last month to Alzheimers. We're commuting an hour several times a week to Hendersonville.  That's a little bit of why I haven't been able to keep this blog up.  Sorry about that.  :)

GOD is moving at Relate! Every time I think about it I just want to step back and Praise Him! The church is growing faster than we can keep up.  We're located at the Old Highland Theater on Main Street in Downtown Hendersonville.  With seating capacity at I believe 100.  We have 2 services and are averaging attendance at 200.   We have seen people cross over from death to life every Sunday! (We need a baptistry or we're going to spend hours at the river this Summer, Hallelujah!) The church has quadrupled in size since August! WHAT!  We're needing to start a 3rd service on Saturday nights.  In order to do that we need more committed volunteers to get involved. :)

We are outgrowing our Children's Ministry area and we need more volunteers for that ministry as well.  The student ministry is blossoming and it's exciting to see students who are excited about what God is doing at their church.

In Joshua 10:12-13 Joshua, in Great Faith, because they were defeating their enemies and the battle was nearing the end and it was getting late he prayed for God to make the Sun Stand Still and God did!
I pray to be a woman of great faith! I pray that I will have faith that isn't afraid to ask God for something that looks impossible.

So as we begin this fast we have some impossible "looking" prayers we're going to begin praying.  Some more radical than others.  But we hope that in our sharing with you that you would pray along with us!

• I pray that God will increase our Faith! Ours and the leadership of the church.  That we will have clear unified vision for the direction God wants to take this movement.  
• We often refer to Relate, not as a church but as a movement, because our vision is not to increase in size as a church but to reach the Nations for Christ. Relate is just a seed, and we pray God blesses it!
• We pray Sun stand Still that God will send and equip passionate volunteers who are committed to serving and filled with great humility, faith and vision.
• We pray Sun Stand Still that God will supply Relate with a New Campus and the financial resources to move and keep the Theater as our Satellite campus and Student Ministry Hub. 
• We pray Sun Stand Still that God will work things out to smoothly move our family into Hendersonville so we will be closer to the ministry.
• We pray that God will use us up 100% here where we are currently planted!
• We pray Sun Stand Still that the church will be blessed to pay the Pastors Full-Time.
• We pray Sun Stand Still that God will provide us with another car.
• I pray Sun Stand Still to see 1000 people come to Christ in the coming year through this ministry. Last year I prayed what looked impossible to see 500 come to Christ and I KNOW God did that.  (I lost count though).

From where we stand many of these prayers look impossible. That excites the life out of me because this time last year Trey and I did the Daniel Fast and prayed many "impossible looking" Sun Stand Still prayers and one by one God answered them ALL Abundantly!!!  We serve the God of impossible!  This year in Great Faith we want to invite you to join us in these prayers because if you're here you're apart of this ministry too!





His Clay,
Melissa